Editor's Note - This is an excerpt from the Octboer 2009 issue of the Buddhist Wheel

Many people tell my wife and me that we look like a newly married couple. When we hear this we feel strange because we have been married for 4 ½ years. Our relationship started over 9 years ago, and we are not doing anything special to keep this intimacy. Of course we don’t consider our relationship as bad or that good. This is just our natural relationship.

I would like to share my idea of this relationship…. it is ayumiyoru. Ayumiyoru has many meanings: to walk, compromise, and come closer together, which is the most important thing to keep a good relationship. So, when we fight, I try to talk with my wife until we satisfy each other. I believe this is why we are able to have our good and happy relationship.

I think ayumiyoru is easy to say but hard to do because we always think our own opinion or our own way is right. Then, when we argue, we try to belittle our opponent in order to win the argument. Sometimes we give up and not express our opinions or feelings just to compromise with our partner. Can we say this is the true ayumiyoru? It isn’t.

When I listen to our Jodo-Shin sect’s teaching, I feel Amida-Buddha close to me. Amida-Buddha doesn’t ask us to do something. Amida-Buddha just supports us with compassion. This is a great thing and, I believe, is the true ayumiyoru.

No demand or enforcement is hard for us, but I don’t think it’s impossible. Whenever I have a problem, my wife stands by me without a second thought, and I believe I do the same for her. Thus, we support each other without thinking only about ourselves. So we can do the true ayumiyoru. We can’t be like Amida-Buddha, but we are trying to accomplish ayumiyoru, so I think that’s why we look like a newly married couple.

Like my story, Buddha’s teaching is in our life. We can savor it through our daily life so everything feels more wonderful.

Visit our downloads section to get the complete issue.